My bigger sister's were also very sheltered, and would have been swallowed up by this treacherous world, had it not been for the watchful eyes and protective instinct of our parents. Charmaine, Andrea and Pearson, will not be afforded the protection of both of our parents. The protection our older brothers and sisters of received into their young adults life.
In mother's mind, there were only one person who was capable of give Pearson a real introduction to the nasty, cruel world, without bringing harm to him in the process. There were only one who can teach him, how to react to the world in the manner the world understood. There was only one who could teach him, how to fight and not be afraid. That person was Charmaine. Hence the reason Charmaine was given the privilege to take me along with her, every where she went.
I heard the stories of Little boys being raped, the names of some, I knew, but I never quite understood, what had happened. Up to this stage of my life, all of my life experience consisted of stories I over heard but did not understood, stories, that was recorded on the wall of my memory, stories I always remembered.
Mother condition grew worst, with each passing day, and although Mother discussed her death with each of us, no one really expected her to die; we knew mother was sick; but we did not fully understand the severity of her illness, we listened and understood the preparations she made, but we did not expected Mother to die.
When Mother die, everyone was traumatized by Mother's death except Pearson, this is so, because Mother spent many long hours, days, weeks and months, properly prepared him to deal with her death. Although Pearson dealt with his mother's death better than any of his older siblings, however, Mother could have not predicted, how her absence was going to traumatized her son.
At mother's funeral; the always well composed, brawler: Charmaine, broke down, she lost all control of herself; and she screamed, like a baby that had just taste of life outside of the womb for the first time. Charmaine tried to throw herself in the grave, with our mother on several occasions. She could not picture life without her dear mother. Charmaine wanted to spend the night in the cemetery with mother and would have, if she were allowed to. Charmaine had to be restrained and taken out of the cemetery by four adults males. I was quickly ushered away from the grave side, someone thought, I was too young to be exposed to the severity of the grief.
In her commotion at the cemetery, sobbing, crying and screaming Charmaine could be heard, as she pleaded with her dead mother, she shouted her promise, to the remains which was her mother, will not fight again; it seems like Charmaine thought, this commitment, would being back her mother from the cold arms of death. You could hear some in attendance at the funeral lending a sympathetic caution, "it's to late baby, she cannot hear you now;" They echoed hoping the teenager will come to terms with the reality.
My father became concerned for Charmaine, I was told, later that night, Daddy had to retrieved, Charmaine form the cemetery, after he was told, she were in the cemetery at her mother's grave. It was believed Daddy, found the grief stricken teenager, curled up in the fetal position, on mother's grave crying. As a result, Daddy stayed on guard all night, to ensure, Charmaine, did not return to the cemetery. Charmaine was caught on a few occasions by Daddy, as she tried to sneak out of the house, I guess Charmaine wanted to return, to the cold, dark, lonely cemetery, to keep her mother's company and to make sure mother was safe. However, she was sent back to bed each time she was caught. Charmaine realized, her father knew her better than she thought. She also knew, Daddy would be on guard all night; to ensure she don't return and spend the night in the cemetery with our dead mother.
Mother's death led to Charmaine and I developing an even closer bound. Charmaine wanted to honor her mother's wish for her and some time later Charmaine, told me, she will not fight again, as she said so she did. I have never seen or heard of Charmaine getting involved in a fight after the death of our dear loving mother; she came close on many occasions, but always found the resolve not to break her commitment to Mother. To my knowledge she always honor her mother's wishes and she kept the commitment she made to her dead mother. The only thing that could have made Charmaine break that commitment was the defense and protection of her children, Kevin and Delisia, the two of whom she love and adored very much.
Take a good look at me, the way I deal with conflict etc, my willingness to put myself at risk, in the defense of others, who are weaker than I am; my refusal to back down or runaway form a fight: be it physically or other fight, my courage, my strength, I am an almost duplicate of Charmaine. Even my life philosophy, I learnt from my sister Charmaine. I don't know if Charmaine was too good a teacher, or if I was too good a student. However mother got what she needed Charmaine developed other means of dealing with her problems and I learn from my beloved sister, how to kick ass. Because that was what Charmaine was; Charmaine was a bad ass who kicked asses.
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